How Is Addiction A Family Disease?
We think of addiction as mostly affecting one person. It’s the alcoholic whose life spirals out of control. The drug addict is the one who loses contact with friends and family. The person suffering from substance abuse disorder gets fired, loses custody of their children, and struggles with money. But these tragedies don’t happen in a vacuum. In reality, addiction impacts many people close to the addicted person, sometimes spanning across generations. The best path forward on the road to recovery includes specialized treatment for the entire family.
The holistic family
Think of the family as a single system. Parents, children, grandparents, and anyone living in the household are individuals that comprise a whole. Each person develops patterns of behavior, acting and reacting with one another in unique ways. This creates the family dynamic, and it affects how emotions get expressed, how conflict gets managed,
and the organization of the roles each person plays. Whether functional or dysfunctional, every family has its own equilibrium.
How addiction factors in
When one person suffers from substance abuse disorder, that family equilibrium gets disrupted. Everyone else responds in various ways. As the addict neglects other responsibilities in favor of fueling their addiction, other family members may become more controlling and overcompensate. When someone becomes codependent and enables the addiction, this further adjusts the family dynamics. Some of these changes might range from the dramatic to the imperceptible.
How a family reacts
In a house with addiction, the entire system is destabilized. Everyone’s emotional, mental, and physical health suffers. People may keep searching for the “reason why” behind the addiction. They might blame themselves or other members. A family suffering from addiction may feel:
ashamed
isolated
resentment
socially inept
depressed
anxious
frustrated
afraid
neglected
Caregivers might also feel financially stressed if they’ve devoted time and money to supporting a family member’s addiction. Children may develop low self-esteem, struggle to keep up in school, or feel unsafe in their own home. They’re more at risk for behavioral and developmental issues.
How to approach recovery
Be united
A lack of boundaries breeds dysfunction, and addiction is a huge factor in breaking boundaries. Be direct with the addicted person and let them know your hard boundaries. Don’t shift blame to others in the family. This leaves little room for emotional manipulation. When everyone works together and you stop shifting blame, you repair dysfunctional dynamics.
Change your approach
When addiction goes on for so long, you probably feel completely stuck. Everyone needs to recognize that how you dealt with it so far isn’t working. When you and your family start to view addiction as a holistic problem and stop focusing so much on the addict, you can work to rebuild the other relationships.
When the addict gets help, so should the family
For a drug addiction treatment plan to be successful, care should be given family-wide. The consequences of addiction reach people who have never used drugs or drank alcohol. To take care of each person’s mental and physical health, therapy can help.
Effective family therapy will adapt to each person’s needs and address relationship dynamics and patterns of behavior. Often, family therapy is best paired with individual therapy which can help everyone understand their childhoods and the roots of their emotional reactions. Talking with mental health professionals will help each person decide how they want to continue their relationships as the addicted member goes through recovery. Remember, millions of people struggle with addiction in their families—whatever recovery looks like for you is attainable.
To find out more about how substance abuse therapy can help a family overcome addiction, please reach out to us.
