What Should You Do If You Can’t Remember Trauma In EMDR Therapy

Everyone experiences trauma at some point. But for some people, that trauma doesn’t get resolved. They live in fear of triggering experiences, flashbacks, anxiety, and emotional distress.

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is one of the best therapeutic approaches for resolving trauma. Even though its main phase involves remembering a traumatic experience, your memory doesn’t need to be perfect to benefit from EMDR therapy.

What is EMDR therapy?

EMDR therapy was initially developed for those suffering from PTSD to process their traumatic experiences. It uses bilateral stimulation (i.e. guiding your eyes from left to right using a light, their hand, or some other object) as you remember a distressing event. By doing this, a therapist will get your brain to complete the trauma cycle and come to a new understanding of your triggering memory. EMDR therapy combines psychotherapy with the science of memory processing to relieve you of lingering trauma.

How does EMDR therapy work?

Over the course of eight phases taking place over 12 or more therapy sessions, you’ll carefully deconstruct a traumatic memory and the responses you have to it. You’ll spend several sessions preparing to walk through this memory by identifying moments you want to explore, your current triggers, and your goals for therapy. After they walk you through your memory and engage in bilateral stimulation, you’ll learn techniques to relieve any residual distress. You’ll also catalog your bodily responses to the memory. You and your therapist will repeat this process as necessary to identify new emotions that come up and reprocess them while installing positive thoughts into the memory. Eventually you’ll emerge from EMDR therapy with a new understanding of your traumatic event and no longer experience distress and triggers.

But what if you can’t remember your trauma?

Keep in mind, your therapist is prepared for this possibility. Many people cannot remember their trauma—this is part of the mind’s defense mechanism. A perfect memory also isn’t necessary for the EMDR process for a few reasons.

• Your therapist doesn’t need to hear every detail: As you work through phases X-X and you recount your traumatic experience, what matters most is your emotions. Your therapist isn’t looking for completely accurate details. They’ll get you to focus on different sights, smells, movements, places, etc. that might evoke an unexamined feeling.

• Your body remembers what your mind doesn’t: When you think about your traumatic experience on your own time, your mind may draw a blank or have big gaps. But in the therapy sessions, as your therapist guides you, you might discover you remember more than you thought. Even if it’s not exact physical specifics, your bodily sensations and emotional state might change. You and your therapist can then deconstruct this reaction you had.

• Your preparation may uncover new memories: EMDR therapy isn’t about jumping straight into the traumatic memory. As you prepare with your therapist and identify targets you want to cover, you might remember new or adjacent things you can bring up. Gearing up for your target memory takes time and intention, so you have space to think carefully.

Is EMDR therapy right for you?

If you’ve gone through a traumatic experience and can’t move past it, consider EMDR therapy. If you’ve been suffering from PSTD, bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, or other types of mental health issues, this approach can help. Working your way through the eight phases will install a new positive emotion in place of the distressing one and recontextualize your experience.

To learn more about how EMDR therapy can be helpful even when you can’t remember your trauma, please reach out to us.